Tight
clothing, sexual innuendos and Girl's Gone Stupid
commercials have made it extremely difficult for us
to ignore sex. For those who have chosen to remain
sexually abstinent, it can often be a headache to
hear over and over again, "Jason, everyone's doing
it." If everyone jumped off a bridge would you?
Sexual
behavior is becoming more and more aesthetically
acceptable. Today, one can easily turn on the TV to
find a couple doing the rumba in the back seat of a
car or on the dining room table. Parents allow their
young daughters to dress like 39-year-old hookers.
Boys are running around with their jeans to the
bottom of their boxers. Young boys are mocked
because they are seen as a potentially doomed 40Year
Old Virgin. By the age of 15 girls are convinced
they will become an "old maid" if they don't soon
have sex. Do you want to encourage humanity into
destroying its moral fiber, as we know it? Or, will
you stand up for what you believe?
At Ask
Uncle Terry, I recently received an email from the
representative of a popular sex advisor. While she
is among the best and I have a lot of respect for
her we don't totally agree on sexual abstinence. The
email stated in part, "We generally do not promote
abstinence, because we think that's unrealistic".
Perhaps it is unrealistic but I am not one to give
up hope on our younger generation. My response in
part to the email was, "I have experienced the
traumas of out of wedlock births or having abortions
including those in my own family. I have adopted
children; I have helped to raise a grandson from an
out of wedlock birth and seen how torn he becomes
when shuffled back and forth between households.
These experiences have strengthened my desire to
encourage abstinence along with safe sex, condom use
and birth control for the majority that will choose
early sex over abstinence." You see, as a realist I
realize that by the end of the 9th grade 1/3 of
youngsters will have experienced intercourse and
this number increases to almost 2/3 by senior prom.
Still, I applaud those that have the courage to
wait!
So how
does one define virginity? For most people a virgin
is one that has never had penile-vaginal sex. By
this definition a gay, lesbian, bisexual or a
transgender person that has never had sex with a
person of the opposite sex would technically be a
virgin, as would the straight person that has only
had sex such as oral or anal but not penile-vaginal
sex.
Many
individuals define sex in much broader terms. Some
would include in their definition of sex, activities
such as oral, anal, mutual masturbation, dry
humping, or using sex toys. By this definition, it
could be said that virginity is lost the first time
an intimate sexual experience takes place. This
experience could be with the person of the same or
opposite sex and not simply the first time
penetration occurs. By this definition you could
still be a "technical virgin" and at least in your
own mind, allow yourself to get away with quite a
bit.
So why
would one want to remain a virgin until in a
committed relationship? One of the best qualities of
being a virgin is supply and demand. Screw the
microeconomic theory of the supply and demand. All
you need to know is that there are few virgins on
this planet. Therefore, supply is low and demand is
sky-high. This can be an extreme benefit for both
men, and women.
If you
are a woman, being a virgin is comparable to being
sacred. Once you are ready, one lucky man will enjoy
the privilege of knowing that he is the only one
that has shared an incredible moment with you. You
will both feel a sense of pride and importance. You
have accepted him and only him into your body,
resulting in an ultimate sign of respect. The same
can be said for the man that has waited to hear the
words "Till Death Do Us Part". For those waiting for
marriage, this is a great way to show the other that
you know they are the one.
Men,
most women will understand your choice and love you
for it. For this reason, they will see that your
word comes with dedication and loyalty. A lot of
women will look at you as grade "A" relationship
material. After all, women love companionship and
want to find someone who cares about their
personality first, rather than imagining them in
bed. Not to mention, they will be less worried about
you cheating on them because of that trust you have
given them.
It can
sometimes be hard for your boy friend or girl friend
if they have already had sex. Therefore, it is
crucial that you try and stay positive. Often the
partner will crave you even more if they cannot have
you. Even if you have already had sex it is not too
late to become a "born again virgin". While your
virginity may have been misplaced you know where to
find and reclaim it. You are in control of your body
so the choice is yours. Once virginity is reclaimed
you may decide to wait until in a long term
committed relationship or even your wedding night.
As a young adult, sexual choices are a mature
decision to be made by you and not someone else.
Unfortunately, there are a few scare tactics to help
you remain abstinent. However, we must not look at
them as threats, but rather in the same way one
would avoid drinking to prevent a hangover. Despite
the "pill" and other sexual forms of protection,
there are people everyday who have unwanted
pregnancies. As a result, women are faced with a
decision that will change their entire lives. Aside
from the chance of getting pregnant, sexually
transmitted diseases can occur. Being diagnosed with
an STD or HIV will not only lead to having a bad
day, it may even shorten the quality, or span of
your life. Technical virgin or not, straight, gay,
bi, transgendered, if you are going to have sex,
play it safe and use condoms for vaginal and anal
sex and oral sex on a man, and dams or plastic wrap
for oral sex on a woman.
In
today's society there is a lot of pressure to lose
one's virginity, making it even more difficult for
those who choose to wait. One could easily ignore
television, avoid parties and drive far away to
avoid human contact. Realistically, in making
decisions we shouldn't run away from temptation, but
rather embrace the choices we've made. The broad
definitions of virginity leave each and every person
a lot of room for interpretation. You and only you
will know when it is time to "lose it". Wouldn't you
rather avoid jumping off the bridge?
Uncle
Terry is a widower married to the same woman for
nearly 40 years and both were virgins at the time of
marriage. He is a father and grandfather. As an
advocate of abstinence until in a committed adult
relationship he presently bills himself as a born
again virgin. Uncle Terry believes that all men and
woman should treat their spouse or partner with
respect, and regard them as royalty. http://www.askucleterry.com
About the Author
Uncle Terry is a widower married to the same woman
for nearly 40 years and both were virgins at the
time of marriage. He is a father and grandfather. As
an advocate of abstinence until in a committed adult
relationship he presently bills himself as a born
again virgin. Uncle Terry believes that all men and
woman should treat their spouse or partner with
respect, and regard them as royalty. http://www.askucleterry.com
