Hindu marriages are arranged by parents. They select
mates best suited for their children by examining
personal qualities, education, and social status of
a prospective partner. Because their concepts of
reincarnation and karma keep the Hindu caste system
alive, the people accept their station in life and
thereby marry within their caste.
For
many Hindus the caste system remains strong, especially
in Indian villages where 75 percent of the population
resides. Castes are related to the traditional
occupations which are passed from father to son and
influence who a Hindu marries, even with whom a person
shares food. The castes are---
'. The
Brahmans who are priests and philosophers.
2. The
Kshatriyas who are the warriors responsible for military
service and sustaining the law.
3. The
Vaishyas are those responsible for trade and commerce.
4. The
Shudras are manual laborers.
5. The
low-caste masses called ³untouchables.²
The
higher the caste, the greater the purity. If a person
from a higher caste accidentally touches an untouchable,
he must bathe and perform a ritual to regain purity.
More achievements are expected from the higher castes
than from the lower ones.
Years
ago, parents arranged marriages for their children while
they were babies or very young. Compatibility between
the two families was of primary concern, for a young
daughter had to live with her husband's extended family.
They believed if young people grew up together, they
could learn over time how to understand and adjust to
each other's manners. The girl did not have to leave her
parents to live with her husband and in-laws until she
matured. In that case, she just visited them. Because
the wedding occurred before puberty, the girl was a
virgin and her parents did not have to be concerned
about their daughter having a child out of wedlock.
Today,
child marriages are forbidden, and girls can marry only
after they are '4 years of age. Young girls are not
permitted to have any other boyfriends prior to marriage
and are expected to remain virgins. Marriages are
arranged by parents, but now with the consent of their
son or daughter. (Some parents consider whether or not
their children's horoscopes are compatible.) Marriages
are arranged with the expectation that love will grow
and blossom throughout a lifetime.
The
Hindu Marriage
During
the Hindu wedding ceremony, the bride and groom take the
sapta-padi or seven steps together, promises led by a
priest or Brahmin. The couple takes the sapta-padi
before God, the Radiant One, symbolized by fire and
light. Thus, their promises are witnessed by God's
wisdom, truth, and justice.
Today's
Hindu weddings are celebrated lavishly by family and
friends. They also provide an opportunity for the
parents to observe prospective eligible prospects for
their other unmarried children.
The
wedding usually takes place at the bride's home with the
bride wearing a beautiful sari. Usually a large tent is
erected and filled with beautiful interior decor:
flowers, colorful personal adornment, and jewelry. Other
places for the wedding are a garden, courtyard of the
bride's house, a blocked-off street or square. Weddings
are elaborate celebrations with about '00 relatives
gathering for the occasion. Guests enjoy dining and
lunch on their three-day visit. Sumitra Singh's father
was so pleased on the occasion of his daughter's wedding
that he had roses thrown to the earth from an airplane.
Because
people's wealth and status differ and every state within
India has its own customs, language, and manner of
dress, Indian marriage customs and ceremonies vary.
Pre-wedding customs: When the groom, his relatives,
and friends arrive at the bride's town, the bride's
parents hold a welcome ceremony. After the groom dines
at the bride's home, the bride and groom stand on a
decorated wood plank as priests hold a curtain between
them. While the bride's bridal party (maternal uncle and
bridesmaids) stand behind the bride, the priests chant
marriage songs and the guests shower rice and other
grains over the couple.
Wedding ceremony: The priest or Brahmin officiates
at the wedding ceremony. The wedding begins when the
curtain is removed and garlands of sandalwood chips are
placed around the necks of the bride and groom.
Bridal upliftment of Dharma: The bride's father
gives his daughter to the groom for the upliftment of
Dharma. The father includes his daughter in the three
Purusharthas: Dharma for right conduct, Artha for
prosperity, and Karma for the enjoyment of legitimate
gratification.
Marriage symbols: After the bride applies sandalwood
paste to the groom's forehead, he makes a round red mark
on her forehead for her to display as long as they are
married. The offerings of puffed rice and purified
butter from the hands of the bride and groom are thrown
into the fire, representing the Radiant One, while the
priest removes the darkness by chanting more mantras,
which are blessings.
Vows: Vows in a Hindu marriage are made before a
fire that represents the deity, the Radiant One; thus
vows are witnessed by the God's wisdom, truth, and
justice. The husband accepts his wife as a token of good
fortune so they can assume their Hindu life together.
The groom vows to always include his bride and to
consult her. While the groom takes the bride's hand and
leads her around the fire, mantras are said. These
mantras include accepting the responsibilities of
fidelity, love, mutual respect, and procreation for as
long as they live. As the priest chants the seven steps,
the bride and groom step closer to each other. The
couples start walking where the rice is heaped on one
side. Holding hands, they take the sapta-padi, seven
steps symbolic of their common journey through life. As
they circle around the sacred fire pot, they agree to do
the following:
* Earn
a living for their family and respect their abundance.
* Live
a healthy lifestyle for each other.
* Be
concerned for the partner's welfare, happiness and
friendship throughout their religious-centered lives.
* Eat
and drink together and be with each other on special
occasions.
* Desire children for whom they will be responsible and
love.
*
Adapt to the other person at any given time and place.
Then,
the bridegroom recites the traditional mantras to the
bride, including:
I am
the words and you are the melody, I am the melody and
you are the words.
Blessings: The bride's parents present gifts to the
groom. Cotton is tied around the bride and groom while
blessings for a long and happy life are given. The bride
washes her hands, then bride and groom pray that their
prosperity, success, and Dharma will be fulfilled.
Placing of the floral love necklace: The bridegroom
places a floral love necklace around his bride's neck
while he asks her to accompany him in his Hindu
activities. Another wedding necklace, a gold or silver
chain with gold semicircles and black beads from both
families, symbolic of the union of the two families, is
also worn.
References: Living Faiths: Marriage and the Family by
John Prickett, Hinduism and India, Collier's
Encyclopedia, Marriage Customs by Anita Compton, The
Encyclopedia of Religion by Mircea Elilade, Hindu
Marriage Past and Present by Dr. Krishna Nath
Chatterjuee, and The World's Religions by Huston Smith.
Excerpted from
WEDDINGS, Dating & Love Customs of Cultures Worldwide,
Including Royalty (Nittany Publishers, LLC). Carolyn
Mordecai wrote two previous nonfiction books, published
by Crown Publishers in New York. Her latest book,
WEDDINGS, will be recommended in the next edition of
World Book Encyclopedia.
