A Hindu Wedding is not simply an exchange of vows
and rings. It includes a number of religious rites
before and during the nuptials, which are performed
in the presence of family deities. These represent
the importance of the bond between a husband and
wife. A Hindu marriage or «Vivaha» is incomplete
without the blessings of a spiritual or divine
element.
Misri Ring Ceremony
All prayers in Hindu ceremonies start by invoking
the blessings of Lord Ganesha (Lord Ganesha unlike
all the other Hindu deities has an elephant head as
a result of the unfortunate conditions explaining
Lord Ganesh’s elephant head – his own father axed
off his son’s head and then replaced it with that of
the first animal he saw – the Hindu devout shows his
lack of preference between the Lords by making his
preliminary prayers to Lords, Ganesha). Seven
married ladies (portraying 7 forms of God for each
day of the week) use red power to make a Ganesh sign
(clockwise swastika) on a pot of misri (crystalline
sugar) asking him to bless the couple and make the
ceremony run well.
The ladies also sew designs on a white piece of
cloth to ward of any Nazar (evil eyes cast) that may
come upon the happy occasion. This cloth is worn by
the couple on the wedding day. (Note some couples
leave the preparation of the white cloth until the
Ghari puja.)
A puja is done by the couple and their parents
welcoming God in different forms and asking for his
blessings. They pray to Lord Ganesha, Varun Devta,
Laxmi & Narayan, the Gods on governing the 9
planets, and Om (i.e. Triumverate Brahma, Vishnu and
Shiva).
Garlands are exchanged by the couple in order to
welcome each other into their lives. This part of
the ceremony is known as the Varmala.
As gold lasts for ever, rings made of gold are
exchanged by the couple in order to represent a long
married life. It is believed that the fourth finger
of the hand has a vein leading directly to the
heart. Hence the groom wears the ring on the fourth
finger of his right hand and the bride wears hers on
the fourth finger of her left hand in order to form
a complete heart.
The groom’s family places a basket of fruits,
clothes, cosmetics or ornaments on the girl’s lap
(in her jholi) to represent their acceptance into
her family and bestowing her with happiness and
prosperity.
The groom’s family gives a verbal promise of
marriage and feeds misri (crystalline sugar) to the
girls family to confirm the engagement. The eating
of sweet is considered auspicious by the Hindus and
thus is eaten on all happy occasions.
Mehndi (Henna - Painting of Hands & Feet)
This festive occasion, originally of Muslim
origin, is usually held in the late afternoon. This
is primarily a ladies tea-party; however the male
relatives are allowed to be present. On the «mehndi»,
the future bride has her hands and feet intricately
patterned with a paste which is a recipe of henna,
oil, lemon juice and some water tinted with tea. The
application of mehndi or henna takes about four
hours to complete. Ideally, the bride-to-be should
not wash her hands until the paste has completely
dried. Invitees at the party also design each others
hands with mehndi. Mehndi signifies the strength of
love in a marriage. The darker the mehndi, the
stronger the love.
Sangeet Party (Musical Party)
Music
is the soul of any wedding ceremony, regardless of
faith or origin. Without music & festivity, the
wedding lacks sparkle. On the Sangeet night,
entertainment is provided with the help of
professional singers who sing popular Hindi film
songs. Family and friends eat, drink and dance the
night away.
Sagri (Acquaintance)
The sisters and female relatives of the groom
visit the bride-to-be in her home. They bring with
them perfume, cosmetics and flowers that are strung
together in the form of earrings, bangles,
hairpieces and garlands. The sisters adorn their
sister-in-law to be with the flowers, suggesting
their affection for her. The purpose of this
ceremony is to increase familiarity between the
bride and her new family, creating an atmosphere
that is fragrant and beautiful.
Nav-Graha Puja (Worship to the Nine Planets)
This is the prayer to the nine planets of our
Solar System. Ancient Indian studies indicate that
various celestial bodies have tremendous influence
on the destiny of every individual, and among them
the effect of the nine planets is "supposed" to be
the most profound. During this puja, the Gods
associated with these planets are asked to bless the
couple and their families.
Ghari Puja
This is the final and most important religious
custom that is performed on the eve of the wedding
day. «Ghari Puja» is carried out in the respective
homes of the couple. The priest performs the prayers
with rice, coconut, wheat grains, oil, betel nuts,
turmeric and a number of other spices. Married
ladies grind wheat on a small old fashioned grinder
symbolising that the home will always be prosperous.
The groom offers a handful of grains to the priest
indicating that although he is changing his
lifestyle, he will always give to charity and look
after those less fortunate than himself.
The mothers of both the bride and groom dress up
in their bridal finery. Carrying an earthen pot of
water on their heads, they walk to the threshold of
their homes. The son-in-law of the respective
families cut the water with a knife to ward off any
evil spirits. The parents are adorned with garlands
of flowers and money by their friends and relatives.
The bride and groom wear old clothes that are torn
off by their friends and family members amidst
merriment, illustrating the end of their old life.
Swagatam (Welcome)
After the bride dresses up in her wedding
ensemble, her sisters or female relatives escort the
groom to the brides house. At the entrance, the
groom places his right foot on the top of the brides
foot, signifying that he should be the dominating
strength in their life together. After the groom
enters the house, the brides parents rinse his feet
with milk and water. It is believed that due to all
the prayers that have preceded this moment, the
groom is an embodiment of Lord Vishnu on this
wedding day.
Hathialo (Joining of the Hands)
In
this ceremony, the corner of the brides sari is tied
to a scarf which is worn by the groom. The right
hands of the couple are tied with a thread that has
been blessed with religious incantations. The typing
of the hands signifies an eternal bond that will
join them forever. The couple then pray to the Gods
to give them strength and bless their union.
The Wedding Ceremony
The wedding ceremony is performed by the priest
in the presence of family and friends. The bride and
groom are seated in front of a holy fire and the
priest recites various religious sayings from the
Holy scriptures. According to the Hindu religion,
fire is considered the sustainer of life. It is
believed that the Gods and Goddesses sit around this
auspicious fire. The priest directs various family
members to give offerings into the holy fire. The
couple walks around the fire four times exchanging
vows of duty and love, fidelity, respect and a
fruitful union. the groom then places the brides
hand on his forehead, to denote that he accepts her
as his wife for better of for worse, in health or in
sickness and that it his destiny to marry her. The
couples heads are held together implying that
although they are separate individuals, from this
day onwards, they are one in body, mind and spirit.
Kanya Daan (Entrusting of the Daughter)
The brides parents entrust their daughter in the
safe keeping of the groom and his family.
Ashirwaad (Blessing)
The priest explains to the couples their
responsibilities to each other and then gives them
his holy blessings. This completes the marriage
ceremony.
Datar (Salt Ceremony)
After friends and family have greeted the couple,
they leave for the grooms house. At the entrance of
their new home, the brides feet are rinsed by the
grooms parents. A cover is placed over her head as
she sprinkles milk in all corners of the house. This
signifies that she will maintain the respect of the
family and that if there are any misunderstandings
within the family, she is supposed to help solve or
"cool" them. Surrounded by her new family, the bride
picks up a handful of salt and places it in the
hands of her husband. He passes it back into her
hands without spilling any salt. This is done three
times. Similarly, the «datar» is carried out with
all members of the grooms family. Exchanging salt
symbolises that just as salt blends in and gives
taste to food, so must the bride blend in and become
a part of her new family.
